Today marks another year older for me. At this transitional point in my life this milestone reminds me of how much time I was immersed in the last chapter. I feel as if I am coming out of a cave. Everything is new and beautiful but the light is too bright and the wind is cold. I'm not yet properly dressed for the change of atmosphere and I don't have the necessary tools. I have to just put one foot in front of the other anyway, and start going on.
I look in the mirror and wonder how the young woman I remember, so quickly became the woman I see now. And there is some sadness for so much time that is now gone. It was not wasted, it was well spent in so many ways. I gave of myself in love, and working hard, I sacrificed, strived and learned... Not quite enough joy or adventure though. Maybe my priorities were skewed, or circumstances were difficult. I'm pretty sure my nose was just to the grindstone and I never let myself look up and just feel the warm sun. Joy and adventure I'm discovering, are things that you really have to let in or they just pass you by.
This coming year, year 37, this is one of my goals. Rearrange my priorities. I will still love, I will still serve and work hard. I hopefully will learn an awful lot too. But I will stop and smell those freakin roses, even if I think I'm in a hurry. Because well, I always think I'm in a hurry. Happy birthday to me.